As the matter of fact

I choose career over relationship, if I had to make the choice by any chance.

Why?

When a relationship requires you to choose your career over it..

It's a worthless one
At least for me, it is.

Blame my stubbornness,
blame my contradictions,
'cause sometimes what we want, make no sense.
Same to me, what I want,
makes no sense at all.

I'm not gonna jeopardize it
and so,
I'm gonna remain silence, keeping it to myself.

At least,
that's the best I could do.

I'm so lazy to pack my stuff!!!!
My room is frickin messy, especially my clothes, I've lost my way in managing them!
The carpet is full of stuff, I'm pretty sure it will make a good soup..

Gawd, this is such a rush! My dreadful exams had just finished 4 days ago and here am I packing my way heading home. BLAME THE TRIMESTER (If I make it..)
Group research project not done, room not fully done, feeling not done too...
I'm excited, to see my family, they are the ONLY REASON that I'm flying home, otherwise, I won't be thinking about staying for longer than 2 weeks.
Seriously, I miss them heaps X100!!!
(i miss the food too...)

Anyway, it's a mixed feeling for me. I'm so attached to buddies and things here, I feel like going outstation even if I'm heading home.
Hoping my parents would come over for visits more often...

I DON'T CARE, I"M SO GONNA SKIP FEW DAYS OF UNI TO PLAY MAHJONG AND CARDS AND FISHPRAWNCRAB DURING CNY HERE!!!!!
and buy CHRYSANTHEMUM PACKETS FROM ORIENTAL SHOP AND DRINK UNTIL DIABETIC!
and 3 DAYS NONSTOP CNY MUSIC (swan is so gonna kill me).
HAHHAHAHA!!



P.S: I really hope this is not a goodbye....Although I'm expecting it, I can't bare with the outcome, still.

Exams are done but I'm left with anxiety.
I can't help being anxious about the results, all thanks to stupid and careless mistakes that are not even meant to exist.
There's nothing I can do now but wait.
Until the wait is over, my anxiety continues because...
I'm just an ordinary person, having ordinary emotions.

Days by days
Those words are still left unspoken
and perhaps it should remain being sealed in my mouth.
There's nothing I can do apart from swallowing it up.
But I can't help feeling confused and agonized because
I'm just an ordinary person, having ordinary feeling.

Pondering on days when I could step into the real world
Exhaustion and impatience
that drive me nuts
There's nothing I can do but persevere.
There are still times that I've temporary lost it, because
I'm just an ordinary person, having ordinary desire.

If you have known.......

Sometimes I feel like a filler in between gaps
needed in big spaces between two poles
removed when the ends are connected.

Sometimes I feel like my existence is vaguely defined
an image of myself that is poorly visioned
a filler or water balloon am I.

Sometimes I feel like a coward in disguise
pushing myself with strengths from nowhere
when I am lost in between the wars of confusions.

Sometimes I feel like standing in the awe of the greatness
of things that I thought I foreseen clearly
but lost in the battle of confusion instead.

Sometimes I feel like disbelieving
but greatness brought me here
proclaiming Its existence, so real that I can never deny.

Sometimes I feel like a song
of difficult in composing
and of a pain to be heard.

Sometimes I feel like stranger
lingering outside a fortress of perilous defense
playing deaths.

Sometimes I feel like......

Wow, I feel chilly in here, why isn't the owner updating anything??
Asshole!!!

Tadah, it's a study break before the march into death row.
'I admit this is the toughest year with the most materials, and the finals years in the clinic will be the busiest!' Well said Dr Brian, can I just get through this without all the absurd n energy draining exams?????
8 major papers and failing any of them brings me into deep shit, DAMN IT!!! I need resuscitation right now, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE?? Just don't break my ribs..

Anyway, I just came across to an interesting statement,

Section 377A of the Penal Code which defines sodomy (or anal intercourse) and fellatio (oral sex) as 'unnatural offences'. Those convicted of these acts – whether in consensual or non-consensual situations – can be sentenced to up to 20 years jail and whipped. citation from http://www.petitiononline.com/psrmsia/petition.html

What is this about??
I mean, seriously...
WHAT
THE
HELL???
 So basically, oral sex is banned simply because it's an unnatural offence?
Don't ask me, I'm utterly clueless about it.
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I'm going nuts!
Oh yea, there's one thing, before i dump it off my priority lists,
I wanna bring it out and set it straight, I don't want people come asking, saying or doing silly things to get me into a relationship or something.
It's FUCKIN ANNOYING!!
I DONT FUCKING WANT TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENT!!!
End this agony right now, and I mean it.
If you wanna help me out, Great!, great for YOU, but not for me, i don't need these foolish helps at all!
Don't come and tell me, who suits me, who likes me, and who you think i will like, and who you thought i like,
FUCK ALL THAT PLEASE.
I have better things to do than dealing with all these petty acts.
I don't need to give any explanations or any fuckin' reason for that, neither do i have to find unnecessary excuses to answer all the questions.
So, here I am, giving another shout,
I DON'T FUCKING WANNA GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENT!!

Get it??

Ok, time to study!